Mother's Day Prep: The 3 Key Ingredients to Getting Through This Week

This whole mother's day thing can be a real drag when you don't have a mother. Advertisements on the radio and television... emails piling up in your mailbox... plans being created all around you. When you don't have a mother to celebrate, it's quite possible to feel like the loneliest person on the planet this week, especially, on Mother's Day.

Losing a loved one at any point is always difficult in about a thousand ways no one can really predict because this is *your* journey. I lost my parents in my 20's, five years apart, and I live every day with this truth. I'm continuously learning to adjust to living in the world without that beloved guidence from humans who created us and are the reason for our existence, have lived in the world longer than us and can guide us through life's ups and downs, who have know us for longer than we have known ourselves, and who's bond can never truly be broken. How can we do this? Through positivity, being honest and patient with ourselves, reminding ourselves that this is a journey, working through grief that arises in the process using creativity, and utilizing difficult, but key ingredients.

1) STAYING PRESENT

You may be asking, what exactly is staying present and how am I supposed to use that to stay afloat? Good Question!

Being present means keeping your mind focused on the now, instead of the past or the future. Many of us let our monkey minds play games with us. We're sitting at dinner with friends and we're thinking about what kind of work we have to do tomorrow or an event that happened last week, and allowing the present moment to completely escape us.

Some people use exercise to stay present. Some people use meditation. Some people use mind games and tricks. Some people use creativity. I use all of these and hop around to what works for me in that particular moment.

When I find myself thinking about something in the past, perhaps the last time my mother held me in her arms, I think about that moment lovingly, and then come back to where I am now in my life, in this very moment.

I do the same thing with thinking about the future. There's nothing wrong with reflecting on the past or wondering about the future, but if you stay in either place too long, you miss out on the life you have *right now*!

2) HAVING GRATITUDE

I often find my mind wandering to painful, jealous things like, why does everybody get to celebrate mother's day? Why do other people get to enjoy their mothers? Bring them flowers and cards? Spend the day with them? It's hard to have gratitude for the fact that my mother is not here. But I *can* have gratitude for many other things.

We can use gratitude in the place of negativity. The mind can't entertain gratitude and fear simultaneously… Our brains can't be at the same place at the same time. It's impossible. So if you find yourself speaking or thinking negatively, start to be thankful for the things you *do* have or the time you *did* have. I am thankful for the time I spent with my mom in the hospital. I had ceased almost all work so I could spend as much time with her as possible. I recorded some of the things she was thankful for in her life. I brought our favorite movies into the hospital and we watched them together. I am thankful for that time, I'll never be able to get it back and I am thankful I tried make made the most out of it.

I'm also thankful for the life I have right now. I'm thankful for my home, my pets, my family, my health. I'm thankful that I've learned from my parents experiences and I'm trying as best I can to apply those experiences to my life. I'm thankful for the lessons they taught me... I could go on and on... Count your blessings, you'll feel better once you take stock. What are you thankful for?

3) SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS: CREATE AN { UP }.

An { UP } is term I created to lift myself up. On this day, what can you do or prepare for yourself? Last father's day, I went to Six Flags Great Adventure and rode on rollercoasters all day long. Yelling at the top of my lungs and laughing 'til I cried helped me to have an { UP } day instead of a down day. It helped me to look forward to that day and enjoy it instead of spending my time curled in a ball in bed. It filled my heart with liberation instead of darkness.

My intention is to keep tweaking my own personal recipe for dealing with my grief leading up to Mother's Day and beyond so I can find my way through this experience and come out on the other side.

What kind of recipe can you make for yourself to keep you moving forward?