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Disenfranchised Grief: Mourning An Invisible Love

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
~ Kahlil Gibran

A reader writes: Three months ago, I lost my friend of 11 years to breast cancer. It happened suddenly when treatment seemed to be going ok. It was a long distance, unusual and complicated friendship. Trapped in an unhappy marriage, she lived in a different country, me across the ocean. We would text, phone, Skype, email every single day. Every day. Write letters. Send gifts every Christmas. I wear clothes she bought me on most days. It wasn't just a friendship. We loved each other. And I do mean loved in the strongest possible terms. Loved. Soul mates. Eleven years. Our friendship was so beautiful. We told each other we loved each other every single day. We laughed so much together. We supported each other through the hard times. I was there for her always. She was there for me always. We never physically met.

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