My Baby Boy, My Life My Joy

I remember the day, that you were born. 

You came to take the world by storm.

A zest for life, a smile to share

A giggle , a laugh - none could compare.  

 

Forever, I thought you would be here;

Bringing love and bringing cheer. 

But God said no, to my baby boy; 

Took him from me , My life, my joy. 

 

"Bring him back" I plead, I yell; 

Forever more , I am  doomed  to hell. 

Its how it feels, to a mother's heart; 

How it is , now that we must part. 

 

God decides or is it fate?

Is it luck  as doctors state?

 

All I know, my baby boy;

Cancer robbed me of lifes big joy. 

To  watch you play, to see you grow;

To see you marry,  and what you'd sow. 

 

Memories , sweet memories,

that is what I have ;

An urn  some ashe,

But not my lad. 

 

I could be uplifting,

Could be enlightened 

Could be happy,

But no - just frightened. 

 

Your death hurts deeply  to all who remain

Forever more , our lives  have changed.

One day this numbness  they say will subside.. 

Until that happens, I will cry. 

 

(19 weeks and counting - Steven 2005) 

 

 

 

 

 

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About the Author
Alex Rodriguez is a wife and mother of 3 boys and life long resident of Mill Valley, CA. She lost her 2nd born son Steven (19) to a very rare brain cancer on 10/17/13. One of 30 documented of adult AT/RT. One of 5 documented cases side effects of chemotherapy called neutropenic gastritis. He was diagnosed May 15, 2013. After suffering uncontrolled headaches for a period of a few weeks and being misdiagnosed as - Wisdom Teeth, Whip lash, dehydration, Poor Diet, and being told by a doctor after doing a neurology exam (sans CT/MRI) "Good news is you don't have a brain tumor".. It was found that he indeed did have a 7cm brain tumor located on his right frontal lobe. After Emergency Craniotomy partial resection , and 121 Days of Inpatient Care of aggressive Chemotherapy ( exploding his tumor) and radiation- his hard fought battle was lost. But not without displaying courage and positiveness and a thirst for life. He was Given 2 options to return home if he had enough.. he continued to fight and would never give up .. as in his words - Even though it "sucked" …he was happy to just be alive. This is my journey as a grieving mother. Steven is survived by Alex, his father, Rafael and 2 brothers Michael (22) and Matthew (13)
I'm Grieving, Now What?