Reality Check

It’s been over 10 years since I have been to a wedding. In fact, I have not been to a wedding since I lost my daughter Katie in 2004. However, for whatever reason, I have four of them that I will be attending over the next couple of months. A few weeks back I attended the first on the four that are on my schedule. It was a beautiful outdoor wedding and reception location. I actually enjoy going to weddings because I am an outgoing person and I like to meet new people any chance I get. I believe everyone has a story to tell and I am intrigued to hear their story.

The wedding was going pretty good and I was enjoying a couple of cocktails when they announced the bride and grooms first dance. I didn’t think much of it until after the dance when they announced the father and daughter dance. It was about 15 seconds into the dance when I noticed the pride and love that this father had for his daughter. And it was about 2 seconds after that where I looked at my wife and said, “I’ll be outside.” She asked me where I going. I replied “I have to go, I can’t watch this.”

It hit me in that moment that I will never be able to have a father and daughter dance with Katie. Never. I will never be able to watch my son Noah start a family of his own. Never. I will never have grandchildren. Never.

Another never moment happened over the weekend. My wife and I were out running errands this past Saturday when we drove past a restaurant in our area. I noticed that there were about 10 teenage kids all dressed up with their dates. It was Homecoming weekend and these kids were out having a great time. I am sure they just left each of their family’s homes after taking a lot of photos. All of the things I did when I was a kid. My wife said, “It sucks we’ll never get to experience that with our kids.” I responded with “yes it does.”

The reality of the situation is I will never be able to see them do any of the things other children their age group get to do. I don’t think about these types of things often, but the reality of the moment happens in a split second and emotions follow closely behind.

What reality checks have you experienced lately?