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August Newsletter: Gone But Never Forgotten
The theme of this month’s newsletter is Gone But Never Forgotten. As a mom who’s lost a child, one of my biggest fears is that my son will be forgotten. To keep that from happening, I have committed myself to keeping his legacy alive and honoring him in a variety of ways. Since he died by suicide, I have become very active with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention – a wonderful organization dedicated to raising awareness and reducing the stigma associated with mental health issues. My connection with The Grief Toolbox has also helped me honor his memory as it has allowed me to feature him on products we’ve created to help others along their grief journey. The articles I’ve selected this month are full of ideas from people who hold their loved ones forever in their hearts and who strive to make sure that they are never forgotten!
~Diane Gillen
- Staying Close to Your Lost Loved One by Creating a Memorial Fund
- If You Include your Loved Ones in all you do... You Will Never Spend another Moment without them
- Choose To Make Something Good Come From Your Great Loss
- Holding Them In Your Mind and Hugging Them Forever
- Not Forgotten - Remembering Folks Long After a Trauma or Death
Staying Close to Your Lost Loved One by Creating a Memorial Fund
By Tim Meadows
No one can really describe what it feels like to lose a son in his prime. Chris was 24, with his life ahead of him, and such a big heart. I knew he could do anything he put his mind to, and was proud that he had chosen a career helping others. But, my biggest fear after Chris' death was that he would be forgotten. I quickly saw the memorial scholarship as a fantastic way to prevent that from happening. We began putting on annual fundraising events which were part memorial and part fundraising. That gave us the resources to start awarding scholarships to people who could continue the quest Chris could not. I have since taken it on as a personal challenge to increase visibility of our fund, seek out corporate sponsors, and donations, and most importantly interview the candidates for the scholarship dollars. I get tremendous personal satisfaction out of this work. It is my way of staying closely connected to my son, even after he is gone. I can’t think of a more powerful, meaningful purpose in my life.
If You Include your Loved Ones in all you do... You Will Never Spend another Moment without them
By Fara Gibson
When a loved one passes.. We tend to think of them as Lost…. We make the fact that we “Lost” them our focus…. We talk about spending our Days “Without” them…. We say that they “Won’t be with us in the Holiday Season” ….. “We will Never Spend another Birthday with them”….. “Living is so hard to do when they are gone”
My Question is…. WHY????????????
In asking WHY…. I mean this……. Why do we spend our Focus on the loss? Why do we focus on Holidays without them? Why do we spend their Birthdays without them? Why do we Allow them to feel Gone for even one Moment????
Choose To Make Something Good Come From Your Great Loss
By Lou LaGrand
Great losses, particularly the death of a loved one, not only bring deep emotional and often physical pain, but are the basis for exceptional personal growth or regression. We can learn much from the big changes in life. They can cause us to evaluate and transform our limiting beliefs. Most importantly, they can be a catalyst for being open to new knowledge, experiences, and perceptions of the world.
The key concept here is being open, refusing to live in "what was" and meet change with alterations in our behavior. Life is all about changing personal behavior to meet the new circumstances that we must confront periodically. Change never ends. So how can we adapt to conditions and ease the feelings we did not expect?
Holding Them In Your Mind and Hugging Them Forever
By Maureen Hunter
Our missing hurts so very much...every minute of every day. Just to feel their touch and feel their hug. Oh what an indescribable feeling of joy it would be to be able to do that wherever and whenever.
We dream about it, we yearn for it. We'd love to turn back the clock for just a tiny moment in time. We'd love to wake up in the morning and find it was all a huge mistake and everything was as it once was. If only we could. If only there was one more hug, one more hello, one more "I love you".
There can be no changing what has happened. There can be no going back, but there are ways we can keep them close, near us, by us. We never have to let them go. We keep them in our lives in the ways and moments that are beyond their physical presence alone. In those moments we surround ourselves with their essence, their memory, and their love. And for a moment in time we are hugging them again.
Not Forgotten - Remembering Folks Long After a Trauma or Death
By Allidah Hicks Co-Author: Bonnie Knuti
Whether it's the anniversary of a public event like the Boston Marathon bombings or the Columbine shootings, or a not-so-public anniversary of a friend or neighbor's tragedy, it's important to reach out and show that you have not forgotten. Many folks will jump in to help right away and that is so necessary, but there is always an opportunity to show that you are still remembering much later.
Our Newsletter
Thank you for reading this edition of our newsletter. It is our goal to make it a regular publication and to use it to keep you in touch with topics dealing with grief and loss. When it comes to dealing with grief, it can be a challenge to find the resources we need to educate ourselves and our loved ones on what is happening and how to best keep going forward. We will try to keep future issues as informative and interesting as we can. We encourage all of our readers to contact us with thoughts, comments, suggestions or contributions. We would love to hear from you!
We here at The Grief Toolbox understand that needs change as we go from the raw encompassing pain of the first year to the stark reality of the second year, and then to the growth and reinventing ourselves of the middle years to the acceptance and blessing that now coexists with the pain and love that will always be a part of our life. We cannot make your pain go away, nor can we provide answers for you. What we can do is help you to find the tools that you need to work through your grief journey.
