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December Newsletter: Handling the Holidays (Part Two)
The focus of this month’s newsletter continues with November’s theme: Handling the Holidays. It is our hope that you will find some practical ideas for surviving the deep sorrow and pain you may be experiencing at this time of year. If you did not receive or get a chance to read November’s newsletter: Handling the Holidays (Part One)
~Diane Gillen
Missing Our Angels
The Walking Through Grief, the premier grief healing program. Both series of single short DVDs and grief program designed to be used in a facilitated environment that includes everything you need to run and facilitate a successful grief support group.
Managing The Holidays After a Loss
By Elizabeth G Bridges
You already know that the holidays are going to be different-- difficult. As a matter of fact you may find that everything in you is telling you not to participate this year. I think back on what it was like for me during that first year after the death of my husband: I can best describe it as my mind and emotions were engaged in a sit-in, while my body was going through the motions of living. It's hard to fathom being happy and grateful around others who are celebrating while we are so sad. Yet such is the reality of life... sometimes fullness and emptiness, joy and sadness do co-exist and share the same space, even in our own being.
Should I Feel Guilty for Celebrating This Holiday?
By Dora Carpenter
Hosting or attending a holiday event after losing a loved one can initiate a controversial conversation. Some encourage this and some frown upon the idea. Recently, a coaching client called distraught over a family member's chastisement resulting from a planned holiday celebration because she lost her husband only three months ago.
Are there guidelines for mourning vs. celebrating during the holidays? Is there a moratorium period after loss before one can celebrate the holidays? Can holiday celebrations actually be a way of honoring the life of the deceased? As with e very aspect of grief, this becomes an individual decision. We each grieve differently and our grief journey will be different as well. I'm not familiar with any SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) that has yet been written to define the standard on grief.
HANDLING HOLIDAY GRIEF #3: How to Do the Holidays WITH Your Loved One
By Gary Roe
Our world tells us we have to move on. I’m sorry. I can’t do that if it means moving on without my loved one. But what if I could actually move on with them, but in a new way?
Holidays, more than any other time of year, remind us of our losses. We’re keenly aware of who’s missing. Seemingly everything reminds us of them. We bump into a memory with every step.
We have holiday traditions. Whatever it is – special meals, decorating, house lights, the tree, stockings, presents, worship, etc. – we can’t imagine it without our loved one. Nothing is the same. We wonder how we’re going to celebrate anything at all.
Here’s one option: meet the holidays head on. Instead of letting the holidays use you, use them to honor your loved one and love those around you. .
What If It Doesn't Feel like the Most Wonderful Time of the Year?
By Beth Marshall
What do you do when the happiest season of all doesn’t seem happy at all?
Whether it’s a scary medical diagnosis, the loss of a relationship, or death of someone you love, a traumatic season of life can make the holidays feel overwhelming. Decorating, shopping, and house guests might be more than you can handle this year. Before you decide to pull the covers over your head and wake up in January or start your day with eggnog—stop! You are not alone.
My Wishes For You This Christmas
By Marty Tousley
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
~ Calvin Coolidge
My wishes for all of you this Christmas, and throughout the coming year: May you feel gratitude for the blessing that you have shared part of your life with your loved one. May you be embraced by the invisible presence of your beloved. May you give to yourself the same measure of love you have given to your beloved.
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Our Newsletter
Thank you for reading this edition of our newsletter. It is our goal to make it a regular publication and to use it to keep you in touch with topics dealing with grief and loss. When it comes to dealing with grief, it can be a challenge to find the resources we need to educate ourselves and our loved ones on what is happening and how to best keep going forward. We will try to keep future issues as informative and interesting as we can. We encourage all of our readers to contact us with thoughts, comments, suggestions or contributions. We would love to hear from you!
We here at The Grief Toolbox understand that needs change as we go from the raw encompassing pain of the first year to the stark reality of the second year, and then to the growth and reinventing ourselves of the middle years to the acceptance and blessing that now coexists with the pain and love that will always be a part of our life. We cannot make your pain go away, nor can we provide answers for you. What we can do is help you to find the tools that you need to work through your grief journey.
