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February Newsletter - Grieving Hearts
February – the month we associate with love, chocolate and hearts. However, when you've lost a loved one, you feel like a large part of your heart is missing and that the void can never be filled. With the articles chosen for this month's newsletter, it is our hope that you'll find some way to ease the pain of your broken heart and honor the missing piece that's in the shape of your loved one.
Broken Bridges-Mending Hearts
By Barbara Mason
Grief does not take a holiday to allow you time to breath. It does not wait for you to wake in the mornings or watch a calendar for a certain amount of time to lapse so it can go to the next person. It does not ask permission to take up residence in your heart for the rest of your life. Grief strips you down past the bare bones of who you thought you were. It changes you so drastically that you don't recognize the face in the mirror. It follows no set rules, accepts no demands and wears a new face whenever it wants. Grief becomes you.
Can counseling really help a broken heart?
By Lynda Cheldelin Fell
“Well, no I don’t specialize in grief specifically but with my many years of experience I’m confident I can help you,” said the counselor on the other end of the phone. It had been 18 months since we lost our daughter Aly, and my husband and I were caught in the black abyss of sadness and hopelessness. I was finally ready to wave the white flag and seek help.
Many well-meaning family and friends urged us to get counseling immediately after the accident, but I adamantly refused. I bristled at the very idea that someone would tell me how to grieve the loss of my beloved daughter. Or worse, that I would be trapped in a group of crying mothers stuck in their own horrible grief for years on end. No, I would rather do it myself for I didn’t want to be part of THAT group in the first place.
Broken Heart
By Sharon Chatham
When you were conceived our hearts were full with love for you.
We listened to your strong heat beat at every appointment.
Your Daddy's heart grew two sizes when he learned you would have his namesake.
Every day we would fill out hearts with your movements and hiccups.
I don't want to remember the appointment our hearts took a turn for the worse.
All of a sudden your heart was to focus of our lives.
Doctors spent hours looking at your heart trying to find missing physical pieces.
They didn't know your heart was full of love all along.
How I cured my Broken Heart using Yoga (And How YOU can too!)
By Nicky C Jones
I want to start by sharing a story that I hope you will find inspiring. It will help you to understand how the body holds on to grief. And, how to let it go. It's about me ;)
2004/05 were extremely hard years for me after having lost my boyfriend to cancer and my mother to suicide.
I brushed it off as normal given my circumstances and thought that time would "e; cure me"e;.
Full Circle
By Barbara Mason
That dreaded year of 'firsts' has passed. I know that there are still more ahead, but the rough ones are done. There will be places we go, things we hear, stuff we do that will still be a first without our son. These do not bring the heartache to mind that birthdays, holidays, death day did. They will not be without their pain, but still, it will not be the pain of this last year. All of this has changed us, opened our eyes and showed us that before our loss, we did not know what true sorrow was. We know now and wish that we didn't. It taught us to look beneath the masks of others and accept things that seem too cruel to be real. We know that even ten years from now, twenty or thirty, there will be tears. The sorrow will not fade away completely, but walk along beside us. Grief is forever, we must learn how walk with it. We have come full circle, a new circle has begun.
Our Newsletter
Thank you for reading this edition of our newsletter. It is our goal to make it a regular publication and to use it to keep you in touch with topics dealing with grief and loss. When it comes to dealing with grief, it can be a challenge to find the resources we need to educate ourselves and our loved ones on what is happening and how to best keep going forward. We will try to keep future issues as informative and interesting as we can. We encourage all of our readers to contact us with thoughts, comments, suggestions or contributions. We would love to hear from you! We here at The Grief Toolbox understand that needs change as we go from the raw encompassing pain of the first year to the stark reality of the second year, and then to the growth and reinventing ourselves of the middle years to the acceptance and blessing that now coexists with the pain and love that will always be a part of our life. We cannot make your pain go away, nor can we provide answers for you. What we can do is help you to find the tools that you need to work through your grief journey.
