A mother's journey through the first six years of grief, after the loss of their youngest son, Richard at the age of twenty-two.  A word of warning before you read this book.  It may be too soon.  Our son crossed over in June 2006, this book was drafted 5 1/2 years later.

The loss of a child comes as a left hook in life that I call a Trap Door Transition.  The loss of a child is not in the family planner, not on the household project list, and turns the family upside down.  It is out of the given order of life.  It is unexpected.

Throughout this book, I will be sharing my personal, very intimate conversations, thoughts, quotes that feed me, poems that revealed me, personal experiences, and journals in snapshots of what I call Truth Matters.  The Truth Matters will be marked by personal photographs of butterflies, and flowers.  Like watching a movie, the Truth Matters are "real-time" moments cut from the previous five years. 

Truth Matters are scattered randomly like salt and pepper, so when you see a photograph, this is your cue to take a break from the flow of the book, and follow me on a personal journey through this challenging time of our life.  I just ask for the freedom to express my loss in my words.

I want this is to be a kind of ‘in your face’, this is what you might experience, and if you do, you aren’t alone, it’s okay, it’s part of the process, the healing, your growth, and you will come through it.  You will be battered, torn, exhausted, changed, resolute, transformed, stronger, compassionate, wiser and passionate. 

The Truth is you won’t recognize yourself anymore.  I am writing this to say, it’s okay, I've been there and I’m still there.